I landed on this saying on one of the blogs I follow. A lady had shared her marriage story and pointed out how all should’ve been well but she just didn’t feel content. Her husband was everything one would wish for, but she still felt an unexplainable void. Majority of the story readers were quick to condemn her as an ingrate, subconsciously I also really couldn’t understand what exactly she wanted in this life. As I scrolled through the comments, I happened to land on this one that totally offered a different perspective. It read, “Different people, different experiences, different struggles…well, that is her struggle.” It really got me pondering. We are so quick to judge, condemn and disregard other people’s issues, but at the end of the day, only they can best understand and describe what something means to them. These struggles can take different forms, here are a few examples;
- A child born into a financially struggling family, where there is constant lack, nothing seems enough. Food, clothing, school dues, utilities, all a struggle. He/she grows up feeling inadequate amongst his peers and therefore a bruised self esteem. This child though, may have no health complications and generally a loving family and other non-monetary blessings.
- A lady with a very successful career, commands all the respect there is, well studied, traveled, financially stable, but who has trouble conceiving. Only she would have the capacity to understand that pain. All her achievements would seem worthless to her, yet the rest of the world might just never understand that she could have things that eat her up too. Because oh well, what more is there to quest for when you have a successful career and money?
- Then, there is this girl who hasn’t faced any financial challenges growing up. Every need was met right on time, she never really related to the word lack. But then, she lost her father at a tender age, on Christmas day. For that reason, as the rest of the world looks forward to the festive season, she dreads it. Much as she has no financial struggles, there is an emptiness she suffers that no amount of gold or silver could ever fill. But who would understand this? That is her struggle…
- There is a child who for some reason is quite slow academically. They constantly struggle with a particular subject, concept or class altogether. They become a point of ridicule and as a result suffer a crushed esteem. They totally feel worthless, even when other aspects of their life could be blooming. The psychological torture of failure outweighs everything else, and that is their struggle…
- For another, it could be unrequited love.They give their all for someone who could care less about their existence. The bruised ego they suffer can best be understood by them alone. That is their struggle…
- A student may fail to attain a desired mark in an exam. Perhaps his desired mark was 70% but he only manages to score a 60%. He is quite disappointed but everyone else just can’t fathom how he can make a fuss of such a thing. Plus, isn’t 60% above average? Only he would understand what the 70% meant to him. And I mean, that is his struggle.
- An employee who toils to give their best at the workplace. But somehow, their best is never enough for his bosses. They could elevate anyone else in the office but him. That struggle can only be best understood by that employee.
- For another girl somewhere, it could be self image. She just cannot get herself to be comfortable in her own skin. She feels too heavy or too thin, too tall or too short, too dark etc. Even when, everybody else convinces her that she is beautiful, the self depreciating voices just cannot stop ringing in her mind. And that is her struggle…
- Another child, may just feel unwanted by his family. That is his struggle…
- A lady who never really gets appreciated by her husband’s family.
- A man/woman whose spouse is violent, abusive, domineering and insecure. Only they can understand that struggle.
- Someone else could be struggling with an addiction; alcoholism, drugs etc.
- A twenty year old who due to circumstances, had to mature way earlier in life. You’d be surprised at how the experiences she’s gone through in those twenty years may not even be comparable to the ones you’ve gone through in your forty years. Therefore, don’t quickly disregard someone because you think they are too young, after-all, what do they know? You just might get shocked.
What am I trying to say? Just because your struggle is different from someone else’s, it doesn’t therefore mean that their’s should be disregarded and yours more justifiable. Try putting yourself in their shoes and just maybe you’ll understand where they are coming from. People are affected in different ways, you might be naturally more resilient. Every one has a different purpose in this life which may present different challenges.
There is a quote that I love to refer to;
“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about,be kind.”
We are all struggling souls, we all need God’s grace to make it through. It’s important to also note that we are living in a fallen world, which should help us decipher some of these things better.
Romans 8:22 puts it this way;
“To live in a fallen world means we struggle with sin on a daily basis. We experience heartache and pain. We witness natural disasters and staggering loss. Injustice, inhumanity and falsehood seem to hold sway. Discord and trouble are common place. None of this was God’s original plan for humanity. We fell from our original position in the garden of Eden. We now live in a fallen world, and all creation groans under the consequences of our sin.“
Therefore, we need to encourage each other, pray for each other with all kinds of prayers at all times, seek to know and understand God and his intentions better, through immersing ourselves in His word.
On the issue of being slower to pass judgement on other people. John 8:7 puts it best;
“Let he who is without sin, be the first to cast a stone.”
Thank you for taking your invaluable time to read through this post and I can only pray it gives you food for thought as it did me.