The Invasion

Earlier that day, as he drove home, Brandon had been requested for a lift by a stranger. Having been in a good mood, he gladly accepted. “I guess I could use some company anyway,” he thought to himself. He was alone in the car. The stranger seemed a rather decent human being. They chatted lightly and even exchanged contacts at the point of departure.

Brandon was a dedicated Security Officer who lived in a peaceful, rather isolated country home with his wife and fifteen year old daughter – Alexa.

That night, as they were all in deep slumber, Alexa thought she heard some noises at the front door of their house. She did not want to make false alarms, so she quietly crept to find out what exactly was going on, or whether she was simply hallucinating. Before she could figure out anything, someone pulled her and put his hand over her mouth. She tried to wrestle with the intruder to free herself, also hoping that her parents would catch wind of the situation.

Well, Brandon’s security conscious mind quickly hinted that something wasn’t right. He sprang to his feet and dashed to the living room. As he drew closer, he could hear the scuffle between Alexa and Mr Intruder. But what would shock him more was the discovery he was yet to make. As he looked closely at the intruder, he realized that he was the man with whom he had exchanged numbers and offered a lift earlier that day. He quickly swung into action and took on the intruder. Alexa, very terrified, ran to where her mother was, in the bedroom. Leaving the two men flexing.

Brandon, using all his might, managed to drag the intruder through the back door of their house to the backyard. His wife and daughter just couldn’t stop wondering how this fight was going to end, they were helpless.

Well, given his security background, I guess Brandon had found a subtle way of contacting the police. Because, soon as they got to the backyard, about seven cops were right there, surrounding the whole place. Neither Brandon’s family, nor Mr. Intruder had seen this coming. Mr. Intruder, shocked and now terrified, still wasn’t going to give himself up just like that. He tried to by-pass the cops, but they were just too many for him. He surrendered.

Upon searching him, note that even at this point he was still putting up resistance, he was found to have two cutters and stones in his pockets. The hell did he need stones for!? Everyone was left wondering what his intentions for the invasion had been. Did he come to steal or to kill? That might as well remain a mystery. The police searched the compound and discovered an abandoned pair of male shoes. It was assumed that they belonged to one of Mr. Intruder’s colleagues, who had run off the moment he noticed that cops were in the area. It was concluded that he hadn’t come alone on this mission. The police explained that such criminals carried stones to communicate with each other during their missions. On further investigation, it was discovered that Mr. Intruder was the leader of a renown cartel that was responsible for the ongoing mysterious robberies in the hood.

What would’ve happened had the cops not been there on time, can only be left to imagination.

5 books I love and why

There are a number of books that I’ve read and really loved. But today, I’ll share about only 5 of them. I will give a brief summary of what the book is about, why I loved it and quote a few lines as well. Hope you find them useful too;

1.Men are from Mars, Women are from VenusJohn Gray:

It attempts to explain the differences and uniqueness of each of the two genders. The author uses the metaphor; Men and women originate from two different planets. By virtue of that, there are inherent differences that arise from the different cultures on the different planets. So, by understanding life on both planets, you will begin to understand why men think one way and women think another. You will discover creative creative solutions to miscommunication problems.Men and women have been in conflict ever since because of failure to appreciate each other’s differences. This book is really insightful and an interesting read. I recommend it for anyone who wonders why men act the way they do, and why women act the way they do.

A man is primarily concerned with autonomy, achievement, power and efficiency. His sense of self is centered around his ability to solve problems and reach goals by himself. Whereas; A woman is primarily concerned with relationships, love, connection and aesthetics. Her sense of self is centered around her ability to nurture others, communicate her feelings and build quality relationships.

Men talk to communicate information, women talk to communicate feelings.

When stressed, a man withdraws into his “cave.” He needs to be alone to focus on the problem and come up with a solution. Whereas; A woman reaches out. She needs to talk about her problems in order to find comfort from her stress.

2. Waiting and Dating – Myles Munroe:

This book fearlessly addresses myths regarding dating and relationships, countering them with God’s truth. It offers a biblical view to fulfilling relationships and marriages. Dr. Myles oozes of so much wisdom in this book. Reading it gave me so much clarity regarding many issues neither the church nor our parents or anyone ever candidly talks to us about. I recommend it for anyone who contemplates having a Godly relationship and marriage. An aunt of mine once commented,

It’s good you’re reading that book. Many of us wish we’d had the chance to read it before we got married.

That really got me. You may not fully agree with everything written by Dr. Munroe, but he offers great insights and guidance, you could read it while referring to your Bible as well, for more clarity regarding some issues.

The key to finding the right mate is first to identify the quality and character that we will hold as our standard without compromise, and then evaluate the potential candidates we meet according to those standards.

One of the most important principles for successful dating is to get to know the other person by following the proper progression of spirit, soul and body…in that order.

There is no victory in compromise. What we are as singles is what we bring into marriage. Whatever you compromise to gain, you will lose. Compromising our standards is no way to begin a marriage or any other sustained relationship. We need to learn self control now and make sure that any person we consider for a life partner has done the same.

Modern society seems always on the look out for new trends to follow and new standards by which to measure customs, attitudes and behavior. As believers and followers of Christ, however, our standard is the Bible…the unchanging word of God.

3. The defining Decade (Why your twenties matter…)Meg Jay:

Being in my twenties, I’m glad I stumbled upon this self-help book! The author is a clinical psychologist who has interacted with many young people over the years. This book was inspired by her stories and experiences with her patients. Most of us assume that our twenties are not very crucial years and assume that we could always catch up on whatever in our 30’s or beyond. Well, Meg Jay thinks otherwise. In fact she says your twenties are the most defining decade of adulthood. The defining decade is a practical guide to making the most of one’s twenties. It prompts one to rethink their perspective on their twenties. She covers everything from career to love and gives invaluable advice on how to get your life together. I recommend this book to twenty-somethings and anyone who is looking for some self examination.

The future isn’t written in the stars. There are no guarantees. So claim your adulthood, be intentional, get to work, pick your family, do the math, make your own certainty. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You are deciding your life right now.

Set some goals that matter to you and work towards them. Whether they’re professional, personal or social.

Learn to calm yourself down, to realize that little setbacks are not huge issues. That life goes on. Stop relying on other people to cheer you up.

Build up your network of weak ties, instead of only spending time with your close friends. It’s the people you rarely talk to who might lead to fortuitous relationships down the road, and you want that broad exposure.

Take the job with the most career capital. Where you’ll build the most relationships, learn the most, grow the most. NOT necessarily make the most money.

4. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte:

I first encountered this novel in my high school, it was on my literature syllabus. Many years later, It still tops my all time classic reads. I found the character Jane to be relatable. And the story-line so captivating. It is a hauntingly beautiful novel that tells of Jane’s struggles through childhood and her love story with Mr.Rochester. The book intrigued me to read a bit more on the author Charlotte Bronte. I strongly admired her zeal to create such timeless classics in a time where women were not recognized in such fields like writing. Actually she first published her books using pseudonyms. She did not want readers to judge her work on the basis of her being a woman. That was after realizing that it would be difficult to get her work published if she put her real name. The social prejudices at the time can be seen in the novel. Jane Eyre is a subtle, intelligent discussion of the difficulty of choosing among competing value systems. From Jane’s story, we also gain insight on how we struggle with our own values. I highly recommend this novel to all, it is definitely a must read. I share some of the best quotes below;

I remembered that the real world was wide, and that a varied field of hopes and fears, of sensations and excitements, awaited those who had the courage to go forth into it’s expanse, to seek real knowledge of life amidst it’s perils.

Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.

I can live alone, if self respect, and circumstances require me to do so. I need not sell my soul to buy bliss. I have an inward treasure born with me, which can keep me alive if all extraneous delights should be withheld, or offered only at a price I cannot afford to give.

Some of the best people that ever lived have been as destitute as I am; and if you are Christian, you ought not to consider poverty a crime.

Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow minded in their more privileged fellow creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings. It is thoughtless to condemn them or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.

I am not an angel and I will not be one till I die. I will be myself. Mr. Rochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me – for you will not get it, any more than I shall get it of you: which I do not at all anticipate.

5. Lies women believe and the truth that sets them free – Nancy Leigh Demoss:

This is a powerful, thought provoking book on lies that women may knowingly or unknowingly believe. She not only identifies lies but also explores biblical truths to combat and replace each lie. She delves into lies regarding women’s self worth, Identity, priorities, God, emotions, marriage, parenting among others. She tackles very controversial topics heads-on, which comes off as too idealistic or intimidating to some people. She however, advises readers to read her book alongside the bible for more clarity. I recommend this book to all women regardless of age! Let’s look at some of the lies she points out and the truths that counter them;

The Lie: God’s ways are too restrictive.

The truth: God’s restrictions are always for your good. Resisting or rebelling God’s ways brings conflict and heartache.

The lie: I’m not worth anything.

The truth: Your value is not determined by what others think of you or what you think of yourself. Your value is determined by how God views you.

The lie: I can make it without consistent time in the word and prayer

The truth: It is impossible to be the woman God wants you to be apart from spending consistent time cultivating a relationship with Him in the word and prayer.

The lie: I can’t control my emotions.

The truth: You do not have to be controlled by your emotions. You can choose to fix your mind on the truth to take every thought captive to the truth, and to let God control your emotions.

Thank you for passing by 🖤

Letter to my future self

Dear future self,

I’m thrilled to be writing to you, older self. I can’t help but wonder what you are like now? I hope time has been kind. Life has been quite the ride for me, I know there’s more you’ll be dealt with. Here are a few words to you with love dear one, maybe you could draw some reference;

The most important of all is to never lose sight of God. I pray you still have His word written across your heart. Everything in this life is fleeting except Him. Stay true, nothing is worth your relationship with God. For the times I was so self centered and took my eyes off God, I paid a hefty price, lost direction and I came running back like the prodigal son.

Be yourself. Embrace the unique being that you are. Take pride in your experiences over the years, they shaped you into the whole person that you are now. Do not accept to be a victim but a fighter.

Do not be afraid to let your light shine, you only got one life to live, you don’t want to spend it playing mediocre like I often did; for fear of coming off as too much or intimidating. Can you imagine? Use all the gifts God has blessed you with to make a difference, you’ll have to account for each one of them some day.

You alone are responsible for the choices you make. I have had to suffer the consequences of some careless choices I made. Anyway, I didn’t know better, I pray that you can learn from me and be more intentional and cautious.

Forgive yourself when things don’t go as expected. Do not beat yourself up all the time, take the lessons and learn from them. You can not have everything in control all the time. Take each new day as a chance to start over.

I had so many dreams some of which I managed to accomplish, others I pass on to you. Please keep going relentlessly. You deserve the very best, please do not just settle, defy the odds and rise above status quo. I learned my lessons, hoping you can do better. Do not give up on those dreams, with a little faith and hardwork, they can come true.

Do your best to always speak the truth, even in difficult situations, at least find a subtle way out. Lies I have learned, are not worth the pain they bring.

I know the world can be a cruel place, but keep radiating love, joy and peace.The world needs a lot more of that. Hope your light never dims out.

Take nothing for granted. Give your best in whichever sphere of influence you may find yourself in. Nothing happens by mistake, I believe there is always a purpose for everything.

Another key lesson I’d like you to learn from is standing up for yourself whenever you have to. If you don’t, no one will. The price of silence/conformity is one I wouldn’t want you to pay too. Nothing is worse than having to battle with your conscience.

Please also note that you are never too much. Some people will want to derail you just to feed their egos. Keep being your most authentic self without trying to fit into what the world thinks you should be.

Cherish every moment you get with family and friends. Be there for them as much as you can and enjoy their presence while it lasts. Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

Take deep breaths, live each day at a time princess. Know that it is okay to not have good days, it is okay for things to not always go your way, at least you tried.

Much love,

your little self.

29th April, 2020

Why I write

Writing has been a hobby since time immemorial. The whole idea of penning down thoughts has always been fascinating. I write for quite a number of reasons;

Writing really engages my soul. It captures my feelings and thoughts more effortlessly.

Writing is therapeutic. When I’m feeling low, broken, hopeless, writing lifts that heaviness off my heart, and then I don’t feel so bad. It brings healing. That kind of feeling one would get from talking to a therapist.

I see my journal as my safe space. It is a place where I can rant all I want without fear of being too trivial, saying too much or making no sense. It is a place where I can be honest about my feelings; disappointments, struggles, pains, joys. I see it as an imaginary friend, one who will always be willing to listen, one whom I can trust, one who won’t misunderstand me.

Writing brings my imagination to life. The mind can be a whole universe with many thoughts and ideas constantly popping up. It becomes quite hard to process them all at once. Writing enables me capture some of the ideas before they get lost in the million others.

Writing helps me to calmly process my thoughts. Unlike talking, writing enables me to be reflective and does not put me under any pressure to make sense in an instant. Basically, I am less anxious when writing.

I write to document memories. It is exciting to look back at my journals of years back and read about my thoughts and life then. I read in awe wondering sometimes whether it was really me. Some things I’d never have remembered if it wasn’t for the fact that I had penned them down.

Writing helps me track how far I’ve come and God’s faithfulness over the years. Sometimes I go through my journals and read through prayer requests I wrote at the time, about things that I totally had no idea how I’d ever pull through. But then, all those turned into answered prayers, and I made it through the tough times. It helps me cultivate an attitude of gratitude, faith and patience knowing that no matter what I may be dealt with, It shall also come to pass.

I write to hopefully impact a life or two. Through my experiences and stories.

Also, I write in the hope of creating a legacy. It is very fulfilling to know that even when you die, you still live on through your pieces. People can still experience you by reading your work.Take an example of some of my favorite authors; Charlotte Bronte, Thomas Hardy. They still are very much alive through their beautiful books. They gave people like me a chance to experience them.

I always wished some people in my lineage like my dear grandpa and aunt had written their legacies, maybe I wouldn’t feel so bad about not having had the chance to meet them. I only hear a few stories that are never detailed. They will forever remain a mystery to me. I really would love to learn from that and do better.

Tomorrow is not promised to any of us, but it is fulfilling to know that whenever my time on earth runs out, I’d have left a piece of myself in my writings.

The wrath of a mother hen

Mothers, all mothers, are generally protective of their children. But mother hens, I think take it a notch higher. When I was a little girl, maybe about 6, we had a few hens at home. It was a free range system for them during the day, which meant they had the freedom of moving all over the place as they pleased.

One afternoon I stepped out of the house and walked up to my orange tree. Dad had planted two orange trees, one for me and another for my little sister. A mother hen and its chicks were in the vicinity, actually a few feet away from where I stood. But I guess I was so lost in my day dreaming that I did not notice them, or perhaps I had no reason to even pay any attention to them anyway.

Well, looks like to them, I was an intruder and threatened their peace. While I was enjoying my moment with my orange tree, the mother hen flung at me angrily and scratched me with its claws on my neck. You know those kinds of attacks that totally take you by surprise? I jumped up shouting for help but the damage had already been done. I was very terrified. And ever since then, I will always be terrified at the sight of a mother hen. when I see it any where along my path, I’d rather turn around or move as far away from it as I can. I know it sounds like cowardice, but once bitten twice shy.

Thoughts on marriage?

undefinedMarriage? I guess each one of us may have their varying opinion regarding marriage. But, I’ll share mine. I’d like to define marriage as a voluntary union of two people, a man and a woman, for life. My views have been largely influenced by my close environment; my parents, grandparents, aunts and some other people I observed from a distance. My views are also greatly influenced by the good Book. I’m not married, but I sure hope to be sometime, if God wishes. So, all my views are simply observations and not my real life personal experiences.

  • I believe marriage is between a man and a woman, not a woman and a woman or man and a man.
  • Marriage is a life sentence unless one of the parties dies. Otherwise, if the two people became one, how then can they be separated?
  • Marriage isn’t a place for try and error and temporary lustful pleasures. It is a sacred institution and because of this, we cannot afford to go into it any how with out intentionality.
  • Marriage should be entered into majorly because of love , otherwise any other reasons may not be the best basis if it is to stay the course.
  • I believe one should marry someone who is their friend, someone who you can imagine spending the rest of your life with. Someone with whom you can have a conversation, because when all the beauty of your youth is gone, a companion, a listener,a friend is what you’ll need.
  • Yes, you can never really know a person, but I believe one should invest so much time in trying to learn their significant other before entering into a life long commitment. What are their weaknesses? can you bear with them? What are their likes and dislikes? How do they react when angry or under pressure? What is their love language? What is their personality type? And so much more.
  • Marriage is built on trust. Many forces may attempt to destroy a good marriage. It is important to receive any third party information with skepticism and don’t be quick to condemn the other party unless you have significant proof.
  • Communication is really key. I believe many misunderstandings stem from failure to communicate effectively about each others’ feelings. I once read something that said “Never let yourself go to bed with unresolved issues, however trivial.” Otherwise not communicating one’s feelings breeds resentment.
  • Make allowances for each other’s faults. Just like any other human relationship, disappointments are bound to happen. Be ready to compromise and forgive when some of these things happen. You cannot afford to run off at every little disagreement, there is no perfect relationship, if you can work things out, try and do so unless you can not.
  • I do not agree to physical, emotional abuse, or any form of abuse in marriage. No matter how mad one gets, It can never justify lifting a hand on another person. There should be other modes of conflict resolution.
  • I believe that every once in a while, even marrieds need some time away from each other. I imagine marriage to be stressful sometimes and could have a toll on one’s emotional well being, in such moments I think it’d be nice to get some alone time and restore sanity. There is an old song by Chicago that says, “Everybody needs some time away from each other, even lovers need a holiday, far away from each other…”
  • I believe that by the time two people agree to be married, they should be ready to put their egos aside. Some people just cannot imagine themselves stooping so low to say sorry or admit to a wrong they did. Hence they end up losing something good because they just couldn’t swallow their pride and ask for forgiveness.
  • Also, temptations will come. The grass may appear greener on the other side. Being married to someone does not necessarily mean you will not see other potential suitors. But the fact that it is this particular person you chose and made vows to, you owe them that promise you made them. Always remember those promises you made to them, at the back of your mind and stay true to them. It is really unfair to take your partner’s feelings for granted by going around seeing other people whereas they stay faithful to you.
  • I believe marriage requires constant effort and hard work. I think many people stop putting effort as soon as the main occasion is done. For the candle not to burn out, it is important to keep celebrating achievements, have dates, have getaways every once in a while.
  • I’m of the school of thought that marriage should be rooted on love. Every other factor may fade, but love stays.
  • I believe marriage can only thrive and last for as long as God is at the center of it. Know that adage, “A family that prays together stays together?”
  • Finally; “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others,it is not self seeking,it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (1 Corinth 13:4 – 7)

These are some of my thoughts on marriage, what are yours?

Protect your mind, that’s the battlefield

Many a time, we underrate the power of the human mind. It is actually more powerful than we think. The mind influences our actions and reactions to situations in our daily lives. It is important we recognize how powerful it is and take the necessary precautions to protect it. Because the mind is powerful, it is the very reason we have Parental Guidance (PG) on almost all T.v shows because some of the content in those programs is a little too gross to be processed by a child’s little brain. That is why if the child is actually exposed to this explicit content, it could have a negative impact on them which may manifest in things like nightmares and seizures/convulsions.

I can’t forget how as a child I used to watch many Nigerian movies. I guess most of you remember one particular actress who was referred to as Mama G? Hhmm, she used to act as the evil witch in most of the movies. She used to frighten my little self so much that I’d sometimes have nightmares of her and her evil witchy self standing on my bedside in the wee hours of the night. I’d then wake up screaming with my heart thumping, my parents would run to my bed room and carry me to their bed where I’d spend the rest of the night feeling safe with them. To date, I have trouble dealing with explicit graphic content. Horrors freak me out, they have a strong emotional grip that I just can’t deal.

Well, one thing I’d like to point out is the fact that people are different, they possess different personalities and because of that, they will most likely react to situations differently. My phobia for explicit content may not be the same for someone else. They may actually not be impacted in any way unlike me. I was that child who looked away or covered their eyes when explicit content came on T.v and I still do sometimes. My mind is highly sensitive. What I have learnt from that is that it is important to know oneself and your triggers. For example, the personalities whose traits involve so much introspection and deep thinking are very prone to mental health problems if they let their thoughts spiral out of control. It is important to understand that the mind is greatly influenced by the things we let into it; the movies we watch, the music we listen to, the books we read and all other content that we expose it to. What we feed our minds largely influences our actions. That is why you will realize that most people who succumb to depression, and maybe even worse, suicide, are those who failed to control their thoughts and they spiraled out of control.

I remember coming across a suicide post on Facebook, it had a suicide note and a video of a song which the young gentleman had left as a dedication to his friends and family. The song/video content was suicidal all the way. It was showing a man who was tired of living, he was contemplating suicide. Everything in life was going south for him, he kept singing about how terrible his life was and how all he wanted to do was put an end to the misery. At the end of the video, he actually hanged himself on a rope and ended his life. So you can imagine how much that video influenced the decision of the young man on Facebook in taking his own life. He filled his mind with all sorts of suicidal content to an extent where he finally had no control over them, hence succumbing. As I conclude, I’d like to say;

You know yourself more than anyone else could ever know, you alone best understands your triggers. Don’t give in just to fit in with what others may consider normal. If it affects you, then it is not normal for you. Be more self aware and understand that your mind influences your life. Feed it life and truth. Heard of a saying, “As a man thinketh so is he?” Your thoughts shape your life. Imagine wishing for success but yet you carry a failure mentality, you keep telling yourself that you’re worthless and can’t measure up, somehow these thoughts will get the better of you and result in actual failure. That is why we are told to change our attitudes if we want to see different results in our lives.

Know yourself, know your triggers, stay away from those triggers as much as you can. Protect your mind, for that is the battlefield.